Answering Islam Email Dialogs

Topic: Is monogamy dangerous?

Received: 23 April 2005

Subject: AIDS

Hope u are fine. i am Muslim (submitter to the will of Almighty Allah )…
In your website you wrote that monogamy is God's plan for humanity. When we deviate from God's plan, we suffer….

Islam has put the strict laws for adultery or illegal sex, it allows man to have sex legally by doing marriages, but does not allow to sex out side the marriage (illegal sex) that is a grave sin in Islam, we Muslims take Divine Law very seriously and follow strictly. In this way True Muslims avoid what's forbidden in Islam and does not involve in illegal sex, and are not effected from Deadly disease Like AIDS. Islam prevents man from illegal sex by allowing them to marry. If any one who follow this divine laws, he will be not effected from that disease.
In name of monogamy people in are doing illegal acts, monogamy is blended with mass prostitution is a hypocrisy and degrading. The truth of the matter is that monogamy allows men to "play around" without responsibility… Men are the ones protected by monogamy while women continue to be victims of men's desires. Polygamy is very much opposed by the male dominated society because it would force men to face up to responsibility and fidelity. It would force them to take responsibility for their polygamous inclinations and would protect and provide for women and children…

The present Western society, which permits free sex between consenting adults, has given rise to an abundance of irresponsible sexual relationships, an abundance of "fatherless" children, many unmarried teenage mothers; all becoming a burden on the country's welfare system…
Among all the polygamous societies in history there were none which limited the number of wives. All of the relationships were unrestricted. In Islam, the regulations concerning polygamy limit the number of wives a man can have while making him responsible for all of the women involved. "Marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one or one that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice." (Qur'an 4:3)
This verse from the Qur'an allows a man to marry more than one woman but only if he can deal justly with them….
Thank you for ur time.

Our answer:

Hello --------,

I do not think that you understand true monogamy. I completely agree that the western culture has corrupted this concept. Monogamy "blended with mass prostitution" is not monogamy, but polygamy. Mono means one and nothing more. To say that monogamy allows a man to "play around" is a contradictory statement. Either the man is in a monogamous relationship or not. He cannot do both.

Contrary to your belief, monogamy protects women. A woman in a monogamous relationship does not have to compete for the husband's affections. Her children do not get neglected due to another wife's children. Look at the examples of Abraham and Jacob. With Abraham, there was contention between Hagar and Sarah and between Ishmael and Isaac (see the book of Genesis). Jacob had four wives and he preferred one over the others. This led to the sons of the other wives wanting to kill Joseph who was the son of the favorite. They eventually sold him into slavery. It is true that God used the situation to bless Israel, but this was not an endorsement of Jacob's marriages.

Consider what the prophet Moses wrote, "For this cause, a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Jesus reiterated these words more than a thousand years later (Matthew 19:5 and Mark 10:7,8). You may notice that God made one man and one woman. This was God's intent. Man has a different intent than God. The Prophet Jeremiah said, "The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; Who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9). Man has allowed his heart to take him away from God's way.

You can impose all the rules that you want and you will not fix a man's heart towards God. Consider the words that God spoke through the Prophet Jeremiah, "But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord, I will put My law within them and on their heart I will write it; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people" (Jeremiah 31:33). You cannot change a man's heart from the outside. God can change a man's heart, but He does it from the inside out. Consider the example of Abraham: "Abram believed the LORD, and he credited it to him as righteousness." (Genesis 15:6). We must believe the message of God if we want to be righteous. Following man's rules will only make us ACT better; it will not change our STANDING before God.

Thanks for the correspondence,

    "How can a man be RIGHTEOUS before God?" {Prophet Job, 9:2}
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